[MORE GHOST WORLD QUOTES]

Alcoholic Customer: Do you serve beer or any alcohol?
Enid: I wish! Actually you wish... after about five minutes of this movie, you're gonna wish you had ten beers.

Rebecca: This is so bad it's almost good.
Enid: This is so bad it's gone past good and back to bad again.

Rebecca: You actually like that guy?
Enid: I don't know, I kind of like him. He's the exact opposite of everything I really hate. In a way, he's such a clueless dork, he's almost kind of cool.
Rebecca: That guy is many things, but he's definitely not cool.

Enid: So what was all that about enlarged holes and tight cracks?

Seymour: I can't relate to 99% of humanity.

Rebecca: Oh, face it, you just hate every single guy on the planet.
Enid: That's not true. I just hate all these extroverted, obnoxious, pseudo-bohemian losers.

Seymour: I suppose things are better now, but... I don't know. People still hate each other, they just know how to hide it better.

Enid: I liked her so much better when she was an alcoholic crack addict. She gets in one little car wreck and all of a sudden she's Little Miss Perfect and everyone loves her.

Enid: I think only stupid people have good relationships.
Seymour: That's the spirit.

Rebecca: Oh look, there he is.
Enid: As always.
Rebecca: Waiting for the bus that never comes.
Enid: I wonder if he's just totally insane, or he really thinks the bus is coming?
Rebecca: Why don't you just ask him?
Enid: Hi. What's your name?
Norman: Norman.
Enid: Are you waiting for a bus?
Norman: Yes.
Enid: I hate to tell you this, but they cancelled this bus line two years ago. There are no more buses on this street.
Norman: You don't know what you're talking about.

Rebecca: So, what do you do if you're a Satanist?
Enid: Sacrifice virgins and stuff.
Rebecca: I guess that lets us off the hook.

Enid: I think I'm going crazy from sexual frustration.
Rebecca: And you haven't heard the miracle of masturbation?

Enid: It's a remedial art class for fuck-ups and retards.

Enid: We need to find a place where you can go to meet women who share your interests.
Seymour: Maybe I don't want to meet someone who shares my interests. I hate my interests.

Seymour: What are we, in slow motion here? C'mon, what are you, hypnotized? Have some more kids, why don't you?!

Seymour: You think it's healthy to obsessively collect things? You can't relate to other people, so you fill your life with stuff... I'm just like all these other collector losers.

[Enid is looking at the racist logo of Cook's Chicken, formerly Coon Chicken]
Enid: So, I don't get it. Are you saying things were better then, even though there was stuff like this?

Enid: Hey look, pants.

Clerk: How many times do I have to tell you? No shirt, no service! What do you think this is, Club Med?
Doug: It's America, buddy, learn the rules!
Clerk: Don't tell me about democracy. We Greeks invented democracy!
Doug: Yeah, you also invented homos!
Clerk: Fuck you!
Doug: You wish! You gotta buy me dinner first!

Doug: Rock n' roll, baby: Freedom a' speech.

Enid: If he is so weird, why is he wearing Nikes?

Enid: It's not like I'm some modern punk, dickhead. It's an obvious, 1977 original punk rock look. I guess Johnny fuckface over there's too stupid to realize it!
Rebecca: I didn't really get it either.
Enid: Everyone's too stupid!

[observing Seymour's order from across the diner]
Enid: Oh my God! He just ordered a giant glass of milk!
Josh: ... that's a vanilla milkshake.

[After seeing Seymour just miss hitting a truck]
Enid: Oh my god. It's him! He's insane.
Rebecca: We should follow him home.

Doug: What's up, Josh? Give me two packs of cigarettes today. Working overtime: Sixteen hours and nature's nectar, wake-up juice. And give me six of these beef jerky's. I'm hungry enough to chew the crotch out of a rag doll.

Seymour: Well, I have to admit that things are really starting to look up for me since my life turned to shit.

All quotes taken from IMDB.com.